The Twelve Days at the Pit
by Tagalong
Summary: The greenshirts have decided on a new way to annoy BeachHead: singing an annoying parody! Hawk's a little irritated too. But when the song starts coming true, everyone gets a little creeped out.


**A/N That's right, I finally show up with something, and it's not even in the YJ fandom! Sorry about that... I'm working on it.**

**Another note: I'm kinda new to the G.I. Joe fandom (all I know literally came from willwrite4fics and Karama9's stories) so if anything's ****inaccurate, please tell me.**

**Anyway, this story idea actually isn't mine! My little sister (Courtney Sneeden) came up with this idea out of the blue one afternoon, and we decided to write it down. She doesn't have her own account yet (she's too young) but she co-wrote this with me and we're posting it on my account. We'll add more chapters, but if you've read any of my stuff before, you'll know I'm _terrible _at ****updating consistently. Maybe Courtney can help with that... And now a few words from Courtney herself before we start this lovely little fic.**

**Courtney Sneeden: I'll think of more ideas faster if you review! Since this is my first story, friendly critiques are welcome, but no flaming: the bigger the flames, the better my marshmallows! BTW If willwrite4fics or Karama9 reviews on this, I will wet my pants in excitement, but who cares :D**

**Together: ON TO THE STORY!**

Duke was thoroughly annoyed. The greenshirts had come up with a new song to annoy BeachHead, and it was working. The normally grouchy Ranger was now irritated to the point of screaming at whatever poor sap walked within shouting distance of him. Duke had had a headache all day, so the additional noise mixture of yelling and singing was making him want to die.

By the time BeachHead had turned what seemed like a permanent shade of angry red, everyone in the Pit was singing, humming, or thinking of the song the greenshirts had oh so cleverly dubbed 'The Twelve Days at the Pit'. Even the Joes who were normally above the random fads that swept through the Pit about once every three months were singing it. One such person was Flint.

Duke had the misfortune of being in the room when Flintbegan to sing the song. The warrant officer didn't see BeachHead coming up behind him until it was too late. Needless to say, it didn't end well for Flint. The offender was now in the infirmary being treated for a broken nose.

Meanwhile, Duke was in his office filling out a report explaining to the higher ups why half the Joes in the Pit were singing 'The Twelve Days at the Pit' instead of working. He was almost done with the paper when General Hawk walked in.

"Why is everyone referring to me as 'Hawky'?" the general asked, raising an eyebrow.

Clearly not everyone in the Pit had heard the song. "It's a song the greenshirts made up to get on BeachHead's bad side- not that I'm exactly sure why that would be a _good_ thing in their minds…"

"What song?" asked Hawk?

"It's a parody of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'. They're calling it 'The Twelve Days at the Pit'. Uh… I could sing it for you if you'd like" Duke wasn't exactly comfortable making this offer.

"Go ahead."

Duke cleared his throat and began to sing:

_On the first day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:_

_A BeachHead in the mud pits. _

_On the second day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:_

_Two medics yelling_

_And a BeachHead in the mud pits._

_On the third day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:_

_Three relationships,_

_Two medics yelling,_

_And a BeachHead in the mud pits._

_On the fourth day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:_

_Four dead Vipers,_

_Three relationships,_

_Two medics yelling,_

_And a BeachHead in the mud pits._

_On the fifth day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:_

_Five sneaky ninja,_

_Four dead Vipers,_

_Three relationships,_

_Two medics yelling,_

_And a BeachHead in the mud pits._

_On the sixth day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:_

_Six greenshirt troops,_

_Five sneaky ninja,_

_Four dead Vipers,_

_Three relationships,_

_Two medics yelling,_

_And a BeachHead in the mud pits._

_On the seventh day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:_

_Seven Joes on KP,_

_Six greenshirt troops,_

_Five sneaky ninja,_

_Four dead Vipers,_

_Three relationships,_

_Two medics yelling,_

_And a BeachHead in the mud pits._

_On the eighth day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:  
Eight bullet holes,_

_Seven Joes on KP,_

_Six greenshirt troops,_

_Five sneaky ninja,_

_Four dead Vipers,_

_Three relationships,_

_Two medics yelling,_

_And a BeachHead in the mud pits._

_On the ninth day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:_

_Nine greenie pranks,_

_Eight bullet holes,_

_Seven Joes on KP,_

_Six greenshirt troops,_

_Five sneaky ninja,_

_Four dead Vipers,_

_Three relationships,_

_Two medics yelling,_

_And a BeachHead in the mud pits._

_On the tenth day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:_

_Ten broken femurs,_

_Nine greenie pranks,_

_Eight bullet holes,_

_Seven Joes on KP,_

_Six greenshirt troops,_

_Five sneaky ninja,_

_Four dead Vipers,_

_Three relationships,_

_Two medics yelling,_

_And a BeachHead in the mud pits._

_On the eleventh day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:_

_Eleven Joes on missions,_

_Ten broken femurs,_

_Nine greenie pranks,_

_Eight bullet holes,_

_Seven Joes on KP,_

_Six greenshirt troops,_

_Five sneaky ninja,_

_Four dead Vipers,_

_Three relationships,_

_Two medics yelling,_

_And a BeachHead in the mud pits._

_On the twelfth day at the Pit my Hawky gave to me:_

_Twelve snipers sniping,_

_Eleven Joes on missions,_

_Ten broken femurs,_

_Nine greenie pranks,_

_Eight bullet holes,_

_Seven Joes on KP,_

_Six greenshirt troops,_

_Five sneaky ninja,_

_Four dead Vipers,_

_Three relationships,_

_Two medics yelling,_

_And a BeachHead in the mud pits!_

By the middle of the song Duke was really into it, throwing in a few dance moves- even some jazz hands. He finished with a small bow. Once he realized what he had done in front of arguably the most important man at the Pit, he blushed a deep scarlet.

"Sorry, sir. I got a little carried away."

Hawk simply stared in awe. Duke's best guess at the general's mental dialogue was: 'The greenshirts have _way _too much time on their hands'. Or something to that effect. No matter what Hawk was thinking, Duke was sure his image in the general's mind had decreased exponentially. Now, Duke feared, whenever the general looked at him he'd visualize Duke's impromptu concert.

After an uncomfortable silence, Hawk finally spoke. "I need to approve BeachHead's request for more training time with the greenshirts. They clearly aren't working hard enough if they have the energy to sing." Hawk got a thoughtful look on his face for a moment. "And make an announcement that the next person who calls me 'Hawky' will be on KP for a week."

"Yes sir," replied Duke, still blushing from his performance.

The general turned to leave, but before he was entirely out the door, he heard Duke sing quietly, "_Seven Joes on KP…_"

Hawk sighed and went to go make sure the medics weren't taking their frustration out on Flint. They had had a tough week; combined, they had to treat _ten_ broken femurs. Hawk stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. No way. The medics treated _ten_ broken femurs. Ten! Just like in the greenies' song…

**A/N Courtney Sneeden: Review down here :) **

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**And now I (Tagalong) am back. Now that Courtney's done all of that, she'll be ****pretty sad if you don't review... so... ;D**


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